gifted

all this yelling sinks down in my legs, cradled by my cracked hips
[baby]
I drag the weight along with me until I am finally
crawling to my bed alone with the smell of your cigarettes upon my shoulder
it's exhausting, really, this stretch back to loneliness
I am much more than the girl you see just digging up flowers by the highway
[maybe]

I am clawing at the dirt because I know that they are there
I hear them when I jump on trampolines
I can smell them in the air when the wind blows through the dark
the soil just keeps staining up my hands, my hair

my mother gave me milk & then my sister gave me two hands
my dad gave me words that he thought I couldn't read
a companion gave me stairs, a teacher gave me new blood, an inspiration gave me a line
but they all have gone back home now, to their cities, seas, and air, and every time you step away
[baby]
I go back down the road because I'll find these bulbs someday
cause I planted them with care
[maybe]

I am clawing at the dirt because I know that they are there
I hear them when I jump on trampolines
I can smell them in the air when the wind blows through the dark
the soil just keeps staining up my hands, my hair

I am walking awfully fast because you pushed my heart up inside of my collarbones
and it started squeezing out my eyes
I cannot let this happen, cannot be without my garden
breaking down my voice over grass & yellow lines
cause it's too much for a girl who has her elbows on the world
I swear to you, I am falling off
[baby]
It's a long haul back with your thumb out on the road
but you could pull the damn thing over
[maybe]

cause you wouldn't believe, but

I could go for so much longer baby, you have no idea when I set my head
to someone like you
I've been known to search all night, dig down all the way to china
but I ended up alone to the disdain of the moon
you've been leaving the poor corners of my blue eyes pinched
but can't you tell that we are so gifted
[baby]
my fingernails are dirty, there is tree sap on my lips
but I think you ought to be flattered
[maybe]

I am clawing at the dirt because I know that you are under there
I hear you when I jump on trampolines
I smell you in the air when the wind blows through the dark
but the soil just keep staining up my hands, my hair