kind of

I am kind of songless
She greets me with a voice in the dark, never looking for the lightswitch
I am at the closet door switching up & down in a panic
frantic

she doesn't even notice the buzzing flourescence that shines
truth on my skin's bruises
you see, the gleam, it's obscene,
the guilt for just being
kind of guilt free

and I am the queen
of unnecessary conflict
war

my people are looking uphill,
wiating for me to pour out some kind of aplogy,
referee my own game. blame the king for all their pain
but you see
I was hungry for a change

and it kind of backfired, this tiny explosion
the cannon's waiting to be shot, it's loaded
ready to firework away
light up this closet we've just been stuck in for days
I will be aimed
skin marked up with truth played out
the core of what this whole kind of war is about
I will be waiting for you to fire away

don't look at me that way...

my eyes are kind of scratched cause you're smoking again
and I am under your cloud of silence, groping for the air and when
I get there, my colony is crying out
they've found my senseless escape route
I'm locked up, locked in
my eyes are still kind of watering
in two:
one part the pull of the trigger
one part the devastation this shot could do

don't look at me that way ...

I am kind of sorry,